#but also someone distinct from me in many ways. yk. like who are u hurting
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the urge to self sabotage bc it would be easier. BUT I WONT DO IT!! I NEED TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN DO THINGS THAT ARE GOOD FOR ME!
#i have a history of like. wanting to take the hard path and when its Actually Hard instead of#going thru w it i just like...dont do anything. usually i become anxious to the point of illness etc etc#but rn its like...i cannot fuck this up fr i rly have to at least try !! ive been given a good thing i have to at least . try.#i need to be nicer to my future self they are just as much a person as any of my friends that id go out of my way for#by that point we may so different from each other that all the bad things i do that harm my future arent just harming MY future#but also someone distinct from me in many ways. yk. like who are u hurting ? they (future u) may be a stranger at that point#with how much things change. do you have a right to rob them of potential health and happiness?#im not trying to play around w counterfactuals i just need to be kind. i just need to be kind even if its myself.#lets see.
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